Simon Cowell’s e-bike is here to catch it


THIS week a get well card and large bottle of Lucozade is being sent to Simon Cowell who had a second cycling accident, a second trip to the hospital and a second set of broken bones.

It’s not all fancy food and bubbles this celebrity lark is also casts and painkillers.

According to reports, Simon went over the handlebars of his e-bike and landed in the middle of the road, breaking his arm and sustaining a concussion.

To Simon: “It was actually quite boring. I was just riding my bike, careless, it was raining and I took a turn and the wheels went under me – and then I got knocked out.

“Luckily there were people around who stopped the traffic.”

Simon already has a metal rod in his spine after falling off another e-bike 18 months ago. But it’s okay, he says he’ll be wearing a helmet from now on, so neither of us have to worry.

Sleb Safari has long documented the trials and tribulations of our beloved A-listers and enjoys a good quirky celebrity crash — as long as no one is seriously injured.

In recent years, the Showbiz Injury canon has grown steadily, and as always, Sleb Safari remains hopeful that it will become a core part of the Celebrity Studies 101 curriculum that Harvard must surely be ready to add to its perspective. ?

To recap, the five most recent entries of note in the Showbiz Injury canon are:

1 Pete Doherty, the hedgehog and the infected finger

2 Francois Healy. ravaged by a sausage dog

3 Katie Price, The Wall And The Broken Feet

4 Kate Beckinsale, nobled by a pair of leggings

5 Simon Cowell, The Bike And The Back/Broken Arm

What Simon’s stories lack in intrigue they make up for in seriousness, but they will always languish at the bottom of the charts.

Table leaders Fran Healy and Pete Doherty were injured trying to help small creatures.

Troubled troubadour Pete cut his finger on the spine of a ‘pretty little verminous pig Shnuffle shuffle from the hedgerow’ that his dogs had taken a liking to and that cut became infected and he ended up in hospital, while that a sausage dog was “mauling the s**t out” of Fran’s left hand when it tried to save him from being killed on the road in the Hollywood Hills.

In turn, Katie Price jumped over or over a wall while on vacation in Turkey and broke both feet. As if that weren’t enough, a stranger on social media had the nerve to suggest that Katie made it all up as a cover story for bunion surgery. She quickly put them back in order.

And then there was Kate Beckinsale who got drowned by a pair of her own leggings. She was hospitalized for a back injury sustained while pulling on the dastardly leg covers.

It’s a tough category, Simon, so even if you won’t make it to the next round, we want you to know that you’re proud of yourself and your family and that you’re a star in their eyes.

Katie Price and Carl Woods cement their relationship

Katie Award

Katie Price and her fiancé Carl Woods have a new “family business“.

On the heels of Katie Channel 4’s TV show – Katie Price’s Mucky Mansion – she and her chosen stud have joined adult website Only Fans.

Well, you know what they say, the couple that made OnlyFans together stays together.

Molly-Mae Hague and her life on Instagram

Sleb Safari is so unhappy with Molly-Mae Hague for flaunting a lifestyle the average person can’t match.

The Mirror alerted Sleb Safari to the situation. Molly-Mae of Love Island fame shared a photo on Instagram of her Sunday night preparations for a gym outing the next morning.

The Mirror explained: “Days after being enthralled with bargains and discount stores, former Love Island star Molly-Mae Hague revealed she was using a chic bag from the luxury fashion house high-end Louis Vuitton for his trips to the gym.

And it headlined the story: ‘Molly-Mae Hague uses £1,600 designer bag to hold her sweaty gym kit for 6am workouts’.

Flip, Molly-Mae, it’s not. 6 a.m. go to the gym? You should be ashamed of yourself.

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